a nondignified soliloquy

there are some health-related issues that really just flush any dignity you thought you had right down the toilet. yes, that was a pointed play on words, in case you were wondering. i have, all of my life, wished i were a dignified person. those who know me well should be laughing hysterically about now. actually, that could be said for those who don't know me very well, also. it takes a total of about 30 seconds within meeting me to realize that i never even make a guest appearance on any dignity list. i used to try. i really did. that was a confusing time in my life. i was probably about 24 when i even gave up the trying. i wasn't fooling anyone anyway.

so, back to the indignity of some illnesses. i have been sick a lot in my life. when doug and i were dating, we got into a "puking-story-war." he was finished after 3 stories. i could have kept going all night with my stories spanning several continents. i don't know that he let me get through even half of the really good ones before he asked me to stop sharing. i've filled enough plastic baggies in my life to have a landfill named after me.

clearly, a part of me still longs for a measure of dignity - some sort, any sort. when i think dignity i think of my mother. she is very dignified and the picture of southern gentility. i, on the other hand, put one more in mind of the crazy people featured on daytime talk shows. it's discouraging, really, and one could be tempted to wallow in that discouragement. i, however, have found a way to deal with my failure in the area of dignity. i simply refuse to believe that i'm a failure. i just have my own personal brand of dignity.

1). i have become quite dignified at extricating myself from embarrassing conversational mishaps that i myself have caused by putting my foot in my very big mouth

2). i am very dignified at recovering from a careless trip - over my own feet-in front of people-all the time

3). i am the picture of dignity when i meet someone i don't remember and should - i can play that one off like a champ

4). and what about when i....um...um... nope...that's all i've got.

so, i was wrong. i'm not that dignified. so why should one more undignified illness really matter one way or the other? i find that i still like myself okay most of the time. well, at least until that foot in my mouth starts tasting really bad.

shrunken dreams

one of my kids at the school has decided that i'm a miniature pony. though she says "miniature horse." i'm always carrying a nalgene water bottle, so she has decided that i drink gallons of water just like a horse. that was great, because i started out as a full-sized horse. there is something dignified about horses. i love them. they are beautiful, fast and graceful. have you ever seen a horse at full gallop? i have to tell you, the television makes it looks pretty unbelievable. alas, almost immediately my lovely little student decided that i was far too short to be a horse. i could only be a miniature horse.

and just like that i was relegated to being a dumpy little thing who just stands around and looks cute. okay, i'm not knocking the cute thing - i don't so much mind that. but, have you ever seen a miniature pony run? i have, and not just on television. they aren't graceful. they try to be, but, i mean, seriously...the girth usually far outspans the leg length. and those legs are pumping for all they are worth and just not getting very far very fast. i wouldn't call it a pretty sight. it's rather like a 30 lb. housecat trying to catch up to a sleek lion, or one of Snow White's dwarves (we'll call him Dumpy) trying to outrun the prince. well, now i digress, but you get my point.

it's a bit sad. my dreams of graceful grandeur being knocked to the level of dumpy, awkward exertion. it is even more disconcerting when you consider that i am supposed to run a 10k this weekend. arms and legs pumping (possibly flailing), i can only hope my miniature horse self can make it over the finish line. kudos to all of us "dumpys" out there.

yellow snow

we actually had snow in richmond. not just a little, believe it or not. 9" at our house. woohoo! we took rooney to the dog park to play. the mutt is crazy about snow. we get there and someone had built a huge snowman. the entire bottom of the snowman was yellow. as doug pointed this out, rooney proceeded to pee on one side of the snowman, take a break, walk to another side and pee again. it was the greatest snowman i've ever seen. i've never laughed so hard at a snowman before, and don't expect i ever will again.

i love dogs. they don't care whose watching or what you're thinking. if they need to do their business, by golly, they're going to do it. furthermore, i bet that was a very satisfying experience in my pup's life. i mean, how often will he get to pee on a snowman? in fact, sometimes in life we need to just let loose and not care who is watching or what they think.

so, go ahead...pee on a snowman today.

explanation

so, i am going to attempt, again, to write a blog. my sisters are great writers. my older sister used to write a blog that was terrific. my twin sister now writes a blog that is also great. so, if you're looking for terrific writing. go there. if you want spiritual truths and to follow a girl's relationship with God, find corrie's blog. it is very inspiring and deep and i am encouraged every time i read it. don't hold your breath for that kinda thing on this blog.

Truths:

• i am too lazy to spend a lot of time on a blog

• i am procrastinating now, actually

• i really do usually think i'm great

• the previous bullet typically gets in the way of my living life
  

• i really do have dreams of being a hero. i'm usually rescuing corrie - who is the stronger and braver of the two of us.

• this blog might make you uncomfortable b/c i tend to be too honest. strangely, i feel very secure in your uncomfortableness.

so, i'll give this a shot and your welcome to read or not!

oh, look...i am a poet, and you, sir, did not even know it.

that last was a shout-out to corrie!