Monday, September 19, 2011


i grew up going to garage sales with my mom.  it was great time to spend with her and a great way to learn the fine art of saving money.  i then hit college and, seriously, i was NOT getting up that early on a saturday!  now, i am a breastfeeding mom who needs baby clothes, toys and clothing for me.  so, i have now returned to the world of garage sales.  why not?  i have to be up at 7am, anyway!

i began to notice the craziness this last saturday.  by the way, didn't get such a great haul last saturday, though the saturday before - boy howdy - i took home the bacon!  not really...but, i did take home some polo sport rain boots, brand new sweaters, a bumbo seat and an educational toy for pennies!  

back to the craziness...i noticed it in myself at the very first sale that was a few streets away from me.  i had seen the sign two days before and had just been waiting for saturday to arrive.  the woman had a huge box of clothes.  each item was $.25 or 5 for a dollar.  another woman came over to look and we were both going through the box at the same time.  i was chatting kindly enough, but the whole time by adrenaline is pumping and i'm thinking, "i have to get to things before she does.  darn it, she got that cute sweater.  i have to hurry."  i finally had to keep telling myself to quit getting stressed out about finding clothes that were only a quarter apiece!

my next bit of craziness happened soon afterward.  you know that something might be seriously wrong with you when, on a saturday, you see bright orange and get all excited.  a garage sale sign!  you drive closer and have an overwhelming sense of disappointment because it is only an elderly walker.  you then find yourself thinking resentfully that he should not be wearing that on a saturday morning.  first of all, it is 8am so there is no traffic.  furthermore, there are no crazy drivers out (excluding myself, of course) because they all drank too much the night before and are in bed.  yes, i actually have feelings of resentment towards this elderly gentleman and his penchant for safety.  i feel only slightly less resentful when i see a young jogger wearing a bright green vest and again assume that it is another sign pointing me to the sale of all sales.  GET IT TOGETHER, WALKERS/RUNNERS/EXERCISERS OF ALL AGES:  DO NOT WEAR BRIGHT VESTS OUTDOORS UNTIL 2PM!  otherwise i may accidentally run you over trying to find the sale that your vest so deceptively advertised.

my craziness does not stop with crazy, my friends.  it actually becomes PARANOIA.  i pull up to sales, get out of the car and start walking up to the house, when i suddenly realize that i forgot to lock the car.  i initially don't worry about it (for about 2 seconds), but then the paranoia kicks in.  it goes something like this:  
"well, anyone could just open the door and take something out."
"not a big deal, actually, because my wallet is with me."
"but what if someone wants the lincoln logs that i just got for $3?"
"or, someone leaving this garage sale could look in and see the brand new pair of leather work gloves that i got Doug for a $1 and decide to just subtly try the door and take them?  then i'm out my $1 and the gloves."
yes, my friends, that was me remotely locking my a garage sale...with my car right where i could see it.
and, yes, i do have conversations like this in my head all day long!

and, finally, it is really bad when you go out and garage sale from 7:45am to 10:30am, then come home to feed the baby, and then GO BACK OUT, because by then most people are tired and ready to cut deals!
we're all crazy. i accepted this fact about everyone else a long time ago!  i am finally at a point in my life where i am accepting and embracing that about myself, as well. i am crazy, paranoid and trying to better learn to be thrifty (it is noon and you really think i'm gonna pay $5 for that coat?  seriously, $2 for that baby sleeper?  i got one last week for a quarter, not a chance i'm paying more).



  1. i love you...i really do. you made me and my room mate crack up in stitches

  2. Love this post. Hilarious :) We come by it honestly, don't we? :)