Tuesday, July 13, 2010

the consistent groove

spinning class. for most of you following this infrequent blog, that will be "enough said." my dear friend kerri (or at least "dear" until last night) talked me into going to spinning class with her. she knows i want to get back in shape after surgeries and knows i NEED to get back into shape while i continue eating everything in sight (goldfish are a particular favorite).

where was i? ah! the gym...spin class...disaster. i believe it has already been fairly well established that i am not a graceful person, even in my best of moments. let me preface this by saying that i was already so nervous that in the line to enter the room, i was talking my head off. when we got in, another friend set my bike for me since i had no idea what i was doing. the left pedal, however, somehow got left out of the setting equation.

we begin. oh, this isn't so bad. they even have cool music and turn the lights out. sweeeeeeeeet! spinning really isn't bad when you keep the gears at the lowest setting possible. i think i have this figured out. what? you want me to up the gear? not a problem! again? now, i'm starting to sweat. remember that left pedal? yep, my foot slipped right out. stop and fix it. keep going. get a drink of water. up a gear. left foot out again. stop and fix it. WHAT? you want me to stand up on this thing? are you serious? everyone else is standing up so i guess she is serious. darn it. sit back down. take a sip of water. left foot out again. stop and fix it. stand up again. down again. i wish she would make up her mind. left foot out again. stop and fix it. take a sip of water.

oops, dropped the water bottle. leave it there. a bright pink beacon of my spinning inadequacy. up a gear...again. wipe the sweat off with a towel. dropped the towel. wanted the bright pink water bottle to have company. keep going. up another stinkin' gear. now we are really going and i am really sweating, without the luxury of being able to wipe the sweat off b/c my towel is visiting my water bottle.

at this point, she says we must up the intensity. up the intensity? what have i been doing this whole time? i'm upped, i'm upped. leave me alone. i look to my left. kerri is grinning/laughing at me. it's a good thing she brought me the on-the-floor water bottle and towel or i might slap her. i might slap her anyway.

climbing a hill, now. the hardest hill of all she says...i am actually doing pretty well with this hill if you don't count the burning thirst and the river of sweat. climbing...climbing...climbing...falling, falling...falling........yes, my friends, i fell off of a stationary bike.

the instructor and about four other people yell "are you okay?" kerri is laughing harder. a guy from the back comes to help me with the left pedal that has come off four different times now, (and that isn't even counting the fall) while everyone else keeps spinning. kerri, in the meantime, keeps laughing. the guy on my right tells me that he has always been afraid he would do that. i inform him that he doesn't need to be afraid anymore because i just did it for both of us.

i climb back on the instrument of torture and try to get my groove back. which is a bit humorous considering that my groove consisted of dropping things and slipping out of pedals. thankfully, the class ended soon after and everyone told me that it was okay that i had fallen off something that never moved.

i felt as if i should have been thoroughly humiliated, but i couldn't help but laugh. how can you not? moments like that are very funny. if not for you, then for everyone else! it is hard when you go into something wanting to be perfect at it the first time, and we all do that, admit it! so, i was not perfect, but i was consistent with "Carmen-ness." there is, after all, something comforting about consistency, isn't there? will i return to spin class?

probably. but not to that bike. it hates me.


  1. Carmen...

    This post made me laugh out loud. And I must confess that had I been there, once I knew you were okay & not seriously injured... I would have been crying (& possibly peeing myself) laughing... on the floor... ribs cramping.

    I feel I can laugh b/c that is the Lucille Ball-type of life I lead at times myself.

    Love you. :)

  2. Oh, Carmen. I laughed all over again, Even if your post makes me sound like a mean friend during your times of trouble. ;) I promise, it only gets easier.

  3. Ahhh, spin class. My favorite spin class was when I about died and my instructor barely broke a sweat, despite being 7 month pregnant. I'll have to send the link to my post about that. Needless to say, it's been awhile since I've spun.

  4. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! Laughed out loud almost the entire time I was reading your blog aloud to Dan and Brian. They were laughing out loud too. Thank you for making our evening at your expense. :D
    Love and miss you.